Caregiver vs Lover
The Caregiver and the Lover are two of the archetypes in InnerOS. The Caregiver wants to look after others. The Lover wants to feel close. They are not two kinds of people. They are two parts of you, and both are always there.
The Caregiver
Your Inner Nurturer
"I hold space because tending is how I love."
Nurturing, Service, Compassion, Support
Read about the Caregiver archetypeThe Lover
Your Inner Connector
"I long to be close. I do not need to be completed. I want to feel what is true between us."
Connection, Intimacy, Feeling, Vulnerability
Read about the Lover archetype
When Caregiver and Lover pull apart
The Lover gives hoping to be met. The Caregiver gives for the sake of giving. The Lover needs something back. The Caregiver feels selfish asking. The Lover calls the Caregiver a martyr. The Caregiver calls the Lover needy.
How they help each other
Together they make generous closeness: love that is given freely and received warmly. The Lover teaches the Caregiver to receive. The Caregiver teaches the Lover that giving can be its own reward.
One small thing to try
Wanting love back is not selfish. And care is not selfless if it refuses to be cared for. Both of these parts deserve to receive.
Hear them for yourself
In InnerOS you write what is on your mind, and your parts answer, one at a time. Any of the ten can speak. The free quiz takes about three minutes and shows which part is loudest right now. When you want to talk with them, InnerOS is free to try for 7 days.
Take the quizWhich one is louder in you?
Eighteen moments, about three minutes. No sign-up, nothing leaves your device unless you ask.
Take the quizWant to talk with them? InnerOS is free to try for 7 days. Try it free
Questions about the Caregiver and the Lover
What is the difference between the Caregiver and the Lover archetype?
The Caregiver and the Lover are two of the archetypes in InnerOS. The Caregiver wants to look after others. The Lover wants to feel close. They are not two kinds of people. They are two parts of you, and both are always there.
Can the Caregiver and the Lover work together?
Yes. Together they make generous closeness: love that is given freely and received warmly. The Lover teaches the Caregiver to receive. The Caregiver teaches the Lover that giving can be its own reward.
Do I have to choose between the Caregiver and the Lover?
No. Both live in you. You do not have to pick a winner. You can listen to each one, then decide what to do next. The free quiz shows which part is loudest right now.